stretched so thin

I don’t care about how much it costs, I have to go to the beach really soon. I’m exhausted and tired and my mind is stretched out to a point where it is so thin that everything is falling through it.

The term ends at the first week of August. When my grades are in and I can leave, I have to go to the beach. Two nights. I need to go and just immerse myself in the sea. School won’t start until September and I know that I would probably have to prepare for the transition work to taking over the Faculty Program Director job at the start of the school year and I’d be editing my two documentaries and my movie should be shooting at the time but I really, really have to go and get out of the city.


this has to be me sometime in August or I’m not going to make it through this year (photo taken by Cecilia Golez back in 2015)

The past few weeks, I’ve been working non-stop. It’s been years since I’ve worked everyday (except Sundays) and I’ve been doing it for the past three weeks. I’ve set up my life so that I wouldn’t have to do this again to avoid the stress but I have no choice at this point because work has been so demanding.

Schedules have moved and I had to take in jobs to bring in the money because so many clients refuse to pay on time and I’m really, really losing my patience with them. There is very little respect for freelancers and creatives. They demand for work that comes in on time and they don’t pay on time either.

I would really, really love to be in the position to not have to take any job that comes into my radar. I’m already picky as it is and it still happens. I’d love to be able to reject a client because they don’t pay on time. I’d love to be able to not submit my work until they give me my downpayment.

But that’s not how the industry works. And I’m not in the position to make demands right now.

But I will be soon.

And then I can say goodbye to all this shit.


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