double booking

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I don’t feel broken but I know I am

Something snapped inside me and now I can’t seem to get my schedules in order. I’ve been double booking all week. I’ve been getting booked for days that I think I’m free and then, all of a sudden, I just remembered I had something set on that day by another client.

It’s stupid and it’s reckless and I don’t know what’s happening.

I always write things down and I put it on my calendar on my phone. I always do that. And now, I’ve been messing up. I haven’t. My schedule always looks clear and I know it isn’t.

I better get this fixed soon because if I don’t, I’m going to lose jobs.

I just got my second wind and am I tired again already?

What is wrong with me? The rains have come and I’m lethargic and I just don’t seem to have drive again. I’m extremely content with just staying home and watching Netflix and iFlix all day.

I wonder if I’d be more driven if I were paid on time. All this chasing after money has gotten me down and I just don’t really want to do anything because I feel like it’s work that’s not going to be worth it because the worst part is having to chase after the money.

Why is the industry like this? And I’m not even talking about the film industry. My work there is pretty on the dot, thankfully, because I know it’s not like that for everyone. It’s the advertising industry that’s really sucky. And they have all the money but they don’t pay on time and I don’t understand that.

And it’s killing my spirit. It really is. I’m so angry but I’m so tired.

I’m just so tired.

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