a little bit lighter

Yesterday was a good day. I went to Glorietta to watch Changing Partners after doing some work in the afternoon with YoungStar. Watching Changing Partners is still work because I have to review it but I loved the play and couldn’t wait to see the film version.

To my surprise, Sandino Martin was there and a friend of mine, Paolo, were watching the film too. And then I also saw Victor Villanueva of Patay na si Hesus and I got to see the movie with these amazing people.

I had dinner with some of them and while we are all friends, we have never really hung out before. It was nice getting to know new people and just not having to put up some level of everything is fine because we aren’t close yet so there was no fear that they would push or try to help. We were just getting to know each other and hang out and it was fun.


With Tony, Jessie, and Apa at our favorite spot to end the night with a group selfie

We enjoyed each other’s company and we made plans to hang out again soon.

And then, on my walk home from Legazpi Village, I passed by Tambai and saw a lot of my friends there. Like a whole lot. And I hadn’t seen them in months and even though I had work to finish, I sat with them and just hung out.

For the first time in months, I didn’t try to be okay. I didn’t try to be the funniest, the warmest, or the kindest person there. I was just whoever I was at that moment and it felt so good. And without that pressure to be nice and kind and good, the old me started to creep out.

It got easier and easier and I found myself just becoming warmer and kinder and nicer.

It was a nice feeling.

I got home and even after having drunk two beers and being tired, I sat down and finished my work for that day. Wrote my review for Changing Partners and a corporate script I’m writing for a project I have.

Went to sleep pretty late but when I woke up this morning, I felt lighter and easier and I was smiling more and I felt… happy.

Maybe not happy. But I didn’t feel like I didn’t know who I was or what I was doing here. It was the first time in several months that I felt that way and it felt good.

And now that I’ve got most of my paying work done, it’s back to my scripting and now I actually feel like working on them. For the first time in months.

I won’t jump the gun to say that I’m out of my funk. But I feel lighter and more positive and hopeful. And I’m grateful for that. I’m very, very grateful for that.

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