who is this person in my mirror?

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Laughing at my own reflection (Photo by Shaira Luna)

Lots of stuff are happening right now and I can’t believe the person that I’ve become. The face that stares back at me when I look in the mirror seems familiar but I don’t know who he is, really. I mean, it’s not just the facial hair. It’s not just the fact that I’ve gotten back my lost weight from 2010. This person is  like this powerful being and I don’t remember having become this person.

In the past two weeks, I’ve just been manifesting things that I didn’t know I could do. Every day there’s a new career opportunity that opens up for me. Just today, I might have been able to land a new client while I was being interviewed and shot for a magazine feature about my life so far. The other week, I was working in a cafe with a director and I was laying out index cards on the table — a method I like to use when building scripts — and I kindly foreign lady told me she was so happy to see young people using index cards again. It’s a method she still uses, she said, but she hasn’t seen young people use it anymore.

I ask her what she uses index cards for and she told me for presentations and when she writes speeches. It helps her manage her thoughts and the flow of them. I told her I was writing a script.

“Do you make videos,” she said. “Do you have the capacity to write and film videos?” I told her I did. She gave me her card. “I might be looking for a team to do some video projects for my company.”

Every day, a new career opportunity; something I either seek out for myself like the film reviewer slot at Interaksyon or they find me and they offer me a job like today and that lady in the coffee shop.

A job a friend had recommended me for is pushing through and I needed to make a syllabus to train content writers for marketing and help improve their output. I researched online and looked inward on what made me a consistent writer in this field. I end up formulating an 8-session training session to teach practicing marketing content writers more skills to use.

How did I become this person who just knew what to do and who could speak to strangers and talk so confidently about what I know and what I can offer? Where is the insecurity that has plagued my whole life.

I’ve been asking for higher than my previous rates and I’ve been getting them.

You don’t actually ever feel like you’ve passed that point. There was no signal, no certificate or piece of paper that said you had reached the next level. It just happened.

I don’t know myself anymore. It’s constant thing, apparently, getting to know yourself.

I’m in a good place right now.

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