The Last Two Days

This trip is at an end. Sab’s concert was an eye-opener for me. It opened up my heart into all the possibilities that I never quite imagined for myself since I was just so afraid of putting myself out there, really out there, and I was probably just so afraid of the rejection.

And the past few days have been spent with the people I have yet to see and catch up with, doing some fine tuning and last minute face-to-face stuff with the people I’m working with here, of which I will be bringing the work back with me to  Bacolod. Catching a movie (ended up seeing Blair Witch, which I hated) and finding the inspiration to open up about a project I have in my head with my friend Carlo Ledesma, who watched Blair Witch with me, and found myself with a whole new opportunity to explore while I’m in Bacolod. Something I can write and put together for a major pitch that would be really exciting and quite interesting to work on should we get to sell the idea.

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The obligatory group selfie with Carl, Amanda, and Cat at my last trip to the south for the year

My good friend Amanda just arrived this week too and we hung out at Carlo and Cat’s place just to catch up. Cat and Amanda are so important to me because they, along with Tals, are the reasons why I was able to finally grow up when I turned 27 and it was their friendship (along with Cez) that I began to truly take the steps that I needed to start loving myself and to start taking stock of who I am as a person.

When I get to Bacolod, it’s going to be a complete change of pace. I’m recharged and deadly serious about being brave and courageous about my work. The work I’ll be doing will be my chance to take a step out of the shadows. I’ve been playing it safe. Sab’s concert proved that to me.

I’ve got wings, it’s time to fly.

I’m working on four or five scripts when I get back to Bacolod. Three with other directors, and one for my own directorial debut, which I’m going to start pursuing now. A web series that I truly believe in and my big try for Hollywood.

I’m going to review and revisit and fix my blog and turn it into a real professional website. No more hiding behind these feelings of inadequacy. It’s my time.

And then, when I get more things moving along the pipeline, the serious go for an international scholarship to level up.

I’ve got two days to go. I have one more friend I need to see and a play I’m catching tomorrow and then I fly back to Bacolod and the dirty work begins. The fun stuff. This Manila trip wasn’t just a change of scenery and a chance to reconnect with my friends. This trip had become a laying of the foundation for my full and absolute recovery. My body is stable now. I’ve gotten all my old weight back. I feel stronger again. The verve is evident. All my friends have told me this past week how the shine in my eyes has returned.

The body has recovered. Now, my heart has as well.

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