last night’s dream

I went to bed at 11pm. I had done errands all day and Mercury in Retrograde hit me pretty hard so I had to do several trips downstairs to get all my printing and scanning done. The printer/scanner that I have here at home was working fine just the other day and then yesterday it just wouldn’t turn on. Mercury in Retrograde struck me hard. Documents I had printed came out with the corrections visible and I didn’t notice until I got back to my condo so I had to go back down and print them again.

It was harrowing and taxing but I got it all done.

I spent the rest of the day writing. I was able to secure a freelance PR project, writing press releases for a company. They just needed three by Saturday. I finished two yesterday and just submitted the third today. It doesn’t pay a lot but the work always adds up if you’re consistent and always ready to accept jobs. What’s important, I guess, is that they know I’m reliable and will always send me more work, wherever I am.

After finishing the second press release, I was tired and mentally exhausted. It was something about the day. Going up and down the condo several times took the wind out of me and it was unusually hot (it had been raining consistently since I got here in Manila). It was only a little after 10pm but I decided to call it a night.

I switched off all the lights and went to bed. I tossed and turned for hours. I went up to get a glass of water after a long stretch of time and visited the loo to pee. I must’ve slept passed midnight, for sure.

IMG_7611

taken earlier this year, the one in my dream was even larger and bulkier than this

I had the strangest dream. It was a house party with a pool and I was partying with people from my past — high school and college people that I didn’t necessarily like — but we were having fun but I was a little disturbed. I kept asking myself why I was with these people? It never occurred to me that I was dreaming.

And I sort of made a quick exit and found myself in front of a mirror and saw that all my bandages were still there — on my neck and on my chest — as if my catheter had returned. I panicked. It was an awful feeling. They were huge and bulky, an exaggerated version of what I really had on earlier this year. I remember waking up in the middle of the night and running my hands over my neck and chest just to see if they were gone.

They were gone. I felt the scar on my neck where they cut me open so they could insert the tube into my body and connect the catheter to my artery. But the bandages were gone. The skin had healed over.

I went back to sleep but I don’t remember my dream after that, if I even dreamt at all.

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