Alcohol and Promiscuity Do Not Excuse Rape

I didn’t know too much about the Stanford Rapist but I could see my FB newsfeed exploding with the articles about it and I read some of them and I shook my head, frustrated that this is something that still happens and then the judge gives the boy a six month jail term for sexually assaulting an unconscious woman.

I didn’t add to the fervour nor did I share my opinions about the matter on Facebook. I didn’t think I had anything new to add and everyone who knows me knows that I’m a feminist. I didn’t realise how important the outrage is because another voice in the crowd makes a louder noise that may eventually become too loud to ignore.

Maybe we can finally start changing the way people think about rape and gender equality and male privilege and the patriarchy. I didn’t think I had a voice to give except to do my best to support all the women around me to get their fair share of all that the world has to offer. I’m a man, though gay, but still part of that demographic that enjoys the privileges of being part of the patriarchy. How could I possibly know what women go through everyday.

I can commute home and walk the streets of Manila at night, alone, because I’m a guy. I don’t know what it means to not feel safe.

But by not saying anything, I’m not helping create the noise that is needed for the system to change and the system has to change. Because I don’t want all my friends and family who are women to have to feel unsafe in this world.

Then I read this today on Facebook and I just had to screen cap  it and paste it here:

Screen Shot 2016-06-07 at 3.17.38 PM

The post was made public on his Facebook anyway, so with much apologies to Matt Lang, but I need to borrow your words because they are the perfect way to frame our way of thinking about this situation.

I’ve never been too drunk that I didn’t know the difference between yes and no. I’ve been promiscuous but that doesn’t mean that I deserved to be raped. No one deserves to be a victim of sexual assault. There is no excuse for it whatsoever. I don’t care how a person was dressed or how he or she was behaving. There are no excuses for sexual assault. No one should get away with it and they should be punished as the law sees fit.

And six months in jail puts the value of every woman’s rights to be free from rape into a tiny degree. Women should be free to live in this world free from sexual assault, abuse, and rape and the consequences for such act should be high. It should be very high.

And not just for women alone. For everyone.

And alcohol and promiscuity is no excuse for committing such acts.

I’m happy that people are talking about it more now. We have to change things. This is not the world that we should be living in. We can be better.

Let’s all be better.

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