worried about my cred

Every time I tweet a celebrity on Twitter, I feel like I lose a bit of my credibility since I’ve also been rather vocal about the coming elections. As we draw nearer to the national elections next week, I’ve found myself to be very thoughtful, maybe even severe, and I have made a fair share of comments about what I think about this election through my Twitter. There is a sort of stance that I took, a posturing of sorts.

And yet, I still find myself watching movies and television shows and I can’t help but take to Twitter to find them and send them a tweet of appreciation.

Like so:

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And every time that I do, I always feel I take away from my credibility. I don’t know why. I am allowed to have a lot of interests and I am allowed to be a fan of cultural products and still be political. I don’t see how having admiration (and maybe even crushes) on celebrities makes me less credible as a person with political opinions. I am a person and I’m always upfront about how my political views are very young as I’ve only been politicised in the last ten years. I still have a lot of catching up to do.

That’s all out there. And I ask a lot of pointed questions but I am actually interested in the answers and I fact-check and I state my opinions as opinions. So why should I be ashamed of the fact that I tweet celebrities?

I almost died thrice — once in 2008 for meningitis, second time in 2010 for meningitis again, and 2015 for kidney failure — all due to complications due to HIV. Ever since the first time, I’ve never been hesitant to tell people how I feel about them. Because I don’t know when I’m going to make my eventual exit from this world. I’d rather they knew what I thought about them. I am never sparing with my compliments.

It stems from my own insecurities and self-doubt. Being an artist is hard. A lot of times we do what we do and not know whether we actually succeed in entertaining people or making them think. I have always wanted to know if I’ve made a difference, even to at least one person.

A lot of my friends will know that I always heap compliments on them when they do something good. We need that sort of validation to continue going. Often times when I don’t compliment them over their work and just say a simple “congratulations” then they know already that it wasn’t up to par. The more resilient, stronger ones ask me what I really think and I’ve always been honest. I heap praises but I am also very critical but only when asked.

And I guess Twitter has allowed me the chance to tell artists how I felt about them and their work. I’ve fallen in love with Max Richter’s work from The Leftovers and Perfect Sense. Orphan Black is magnificent and Tatiana Maslany is splendid and so is Ari Millen. I was very much moved by Andrew Jarecki’s The Jinx and I did really just see Cashback last night and thought that Sean Biggerstaff was excellent in it.

Yes, there’s always thrill when they message back. Daniel Gillies of The Vampire Diaries and Kate Miller-Heideke has replied and sending me their thanks for saying such nice things to them. I am happy that at least they know someone out there appreciates what they are doing. And someone as far away as the Philippines, no less. How awesome is that?

Life is short. We’re all trying so hard to make something out of ourselves in this world. And we have means to encourage each other and lift each other up. They may notice, like Daniel Gillies and Kate Miller-Heidke did, or they might not. But at least I tried.

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