We were living: making choices—some of them reckless or misinformed, doing what felt right or normal or within the boundaries of what was acceptable to us, even if we didn’t know the whole truth about what we were getting ourselves into. I had no idea the person I was sleeping with back then was HIV positive and I honestly think he didn’t know either.
This is an excerpt from A Positive Life, an essay I wrote a couple of weeks ago for the Panorama, the Sunday magazine of Manila Bulletin. I had said in a tweet that I didn’t think I could write about HIV again — after seven years of being diagnosed with HIV and telling my story constantly and repeatedly — I really didn’t think I had anything new to say.
But that’s the thing about living, I guess; there’s always something new to say because we are constantly experiencing new things all the time.
That’s the surest sign you ever need to find out if you are alive, if you are truly living, if you’ve grown and if you are learning things all the time. That’s the sign. If you look back and find yourself not having learned anything new; if your problems are still the same as they have been years ago; if you haven’t changed, hopefully for the better, then maybe you aren’t living. Be aware of these things. And be honest with yourself. Be very, very honest with yourself.
Read the whole article here: A Positive Life (Panorama / Link)
Or grab a copy of the Manila Bulletin today for the current issue of Panorama. Included in the article is my poem Beneath My Skin.