I think it is time to start writing freehand again. I’ve lost it somehow.
No, not somehow. I became very comfortable with keyboards and phone keys. I type fast and so I can catch up with my thoughts that are racing at hundreds of ideas a minute and since I have a heavy hand, writing with a pen on paper takes a toll. I put too much pressure that after a few paragraphs, I have to stop and stretch my fingers.
It just got so comfortable to write straight into the computer, or sometimes when I have to, on my phone. I find it way easier to file and organise than having to go through notebook after notebook looking for that one draft that I’ve done several years ago.
But I’m wondering if that’s why my writing has taken such a “lofty” style. Always up in the clouds with big concepts and ideas and never really staying grounded in the nitty-gritty details. There is something so removed and distant from the process of the words. I type — the force exerted is a downward motion pressing a button and the words magically appear on the screen a bit away from the keys.
But when I’m holding a pen, I can feel the pressure of my intentions from all the way as far back as my shoulder, sometimes even feel the electricity jolting through my brain through the synapses passing by some vital organs on the way to my finger tips where I’m holding the pen and as I apply pressure, I can see the words forming directly from the pen, like an extension of my own being. I’m actually bleeding out the words, so to speak.
Shit. Even just that whole thought is poetic on its own.
A friend brings a notebook with him wherever he goes and when an idea comes to him, he takes it out and begins writing. When this happens to me, I take out my phone and start writing on the Notes section or, if I think I can manage it, I’ll put it straight on Twitter.
My good friend (and our actress in No Filter where we met and became friends) Jasmine came back from a trip to Australia recently and she bought me a beautiful notepad called 3AM, which is filled with different stationary type pages meant to store the thoughts that come to you at 3am in the morning, those thoughts that just suddenly come when you wake up in the middle of the night/early morning. The idea for the notepad is that you put it at your bedside so when you suddenly wake up with these thoughts or a striking dream, you can pick up the notepad and just jot them down automatically.
I want to use it. I don’t have problems sleeping. I usually wake up in the middle of the night and groggily walk to the kitchen, have a drink of water and then to the loo so I can pee and then go straight back to sleep. I won’t be using it for its intended purpose.
But it’s pretty and I want to write my poem drafts there. Or maybe even excerpts of short stories. Ideas, lines, sentences, and just put them down there before I transfer them into the computer.
It’s time to get tactile with my writing and maybe the nitty-gritty and the details of writing will become important to me again rather than just the lofty ideas and concepts that my writing seems to remain in the province of. Maybe it’s time to go back to old-school in the process.
Maybe that will help.