Today, I will listen to the stars

So, yesterday, I open up my daily horoscope from Astrologyzone and find this on my daily horoscope.

From the Astrologyzone app of Susan Miller

From the Astrologyzone app of Susan Miller

Now, yes I know I come off as this big Astrology nut — and I am! I’ll admit it — but I don’t really base too many decisions on Astrologyzone. I try to plan with the dates they give in mind, but if not, then no. I do tend to watch myself and play it cautious during Mercury in Retrograde. That has significant standing in being something real to me. All the other stuff I take into consideration but I don’t plan my life around it nor do I take it to heart. It just tells me how hard I should push within that time frame to get towards what I am trying to achieve.

But then, when I saw this on my daily horoscope, which is completely and utterly true, it made me stop to realise that this is something I need to take to heart. This is important. This is something I would do more than just consider.

The invites and offers to work and collaborate on new material has been non-stop and I am the happiest person in the world for it. The Astrological answer to that is, of course, it’s the Year of the Sheep and, as a Sheep, this is my time to be creative and indulgent (to the detriment of my financial stability, of course) and it’s currently happening in full force.

But that phrase: “overextend yourself” frightens me. I don’t want to stretch myself so thin and I don’t want to commit to all these wonderful projects and not be able to deliver my all in each one. At the same time, the creative process is never truly lucrative. It always happens a long time after and I have bills to pay and I have debts to honour. I have to pragmatic and rational about my choices.

And as much as I’d love to work with as many people as possible and be involved in as many projects as I can be — the time to make art is now, I’ve spent half of my life selling someone else’s brand, it’s time to share ideas — I cannot be a part of every artistic endeavour and I have to make choices and sacrifices.

So, my head is still spinning with all the work that fell on my plate in the last three days but I’m happy. That’s not a complaint. But tomorrow, I screw my head back on tightly right on top of my neck and make the hard choices and make adult, grown-up decisions.

I can’t be a part of everything and overextend myself. I’m not 25 anymore. I still have my condition to take care of. I will pick and choose where I pour my heart and soul into and as long as the work I involve myself in is true and corresponds to what I value, then if its a hit or a miss, it doesn’t matter. I’m doing this for me now.

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