Nails (poem draft)

I used to bite my fingernails

because I liked the way they submitted

to the fury of my teeth

when the nerves kicked in

or the waiting consumed me

that the invasion made me feel weak.

The violence of my teeth on my fingernails

gave me strength.

 

And then a friend who was like the sun

to my sapling heart

said he thought it was a disgusting habit

and I had stopped.

I was not afraid of being weak

because this friend always made me feel weak

and he kept me waiting

and that was fine.

The violence of our friendship

took the place of my ravenous mouth.

 

And time had past, my nails grew longer,

and our friendship had remained as such

but I found something else

that had conquered me

and it was more brutal than anything

I’ve ever felt before.

I was ravaged and torn apart

and all the while, I was laughing and smiling,

submitting to this savagery so willingly.

 

It was like being born again.

And when I opened my eyes, I saw

a new family waiting for me.

The first breath I took was theirs.

This was not like my friend.

They did not make me wait

but they consumed me

and I thought my flesh must’ve tasted sweet.

 

I came back into this world as a nail.

The teeth of this clan

rend me and tear me asunder;

they reveal all that remain underneath.

 

That’s what I’ve been doing,

back in the my nail biting days,

cutting out the excess

and getting down to the core.

My past was teaching me something.

The disgusting habit of cutting out

what is not needed

is essential

to loving

all that remains

at the core.

**needs a lot of work, but it’s a starting point

2 thoughts on “Nails (poem draft)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s