Back to Myself

These past two months have given me great joy. Working on The Sandbox Collective’s No Filter has opened up my world in more ways than I could ever imagine.

But it has also taught me some very important lessons. Burning with the fire of doing something that is utterly creative and highly collaborative, I let go of myself to really immerse in the whole experience and when this all ends, I will find myself at ground zero in terms of the life that I used to have.

I’ll be broke, out of touch with my old friends, and disconnected from my usual professional network.

Photography by Cecile Golez

Photography by Cecile Golez

I let myself go into this world and I did not make the proper provisions for when I re-emerge from the Rabbit Hole. I have no regrets. I am glad to be a part of this process and to have experienced this world so fully. The things I have learned from this experience I’ll take with me wherever I go. But the show will end eventually and I did not prepare for it.

I’ll probably find myself in this world again, for sure. I will make sure of it. I love it too much but when I do go back, I will have made the proper preparations. I will not enter it so blindly and I will be able to manage myself and my time better.

Right now, it’s just fun to be on this free-fall into something wonderful.

But after the moment of landing, I’ll have to pick myself up and survey the new territory and pick myself up again and start all over.

August will be a time for me to regroup and regain my balance. I’ll have a book to promote. I’ll have to re-establish my working connections and get busy to earn back what was lost during this whole process (I have spent more than I have earned in the past two months, eating up on my savings and stretching my credit). I have to catch up on lost time with my old friends, while maintaining the new friends I have made on this journey.

But most especially, I will have to look at the path that I have forged prior to this endeavour, and figure out a new one that will still involve this newfound love I have for the theatre and how I can fit it into the grand scheme of things.

I have no regrets whatsoever. I wouldn’t have traded this experience for anything in the world.

But I have to come back to who I was and adjust to the changes that have happened inside of me because I have changed. Everything has changed. And I’m okay with that.

It’s not like it hasn’t happened before.

5 thoughts on “Back to Myself

    • Make better provisions — work and save up for contingency funds before my next project and/or manage my time properly so I can still write and earn while working on my next passion project.

      I really let everything go on this outing. I just ate up my capital and spending more than I’m putting in, and that’s just on daily expenses (transportation, meals, etc), and it wasn’t very wise but I wanted to experience everything. I wanted to be there in almost every little moment, even if I didn’t have to be.

      Self-control, really, is key. πŸ™‚

        • And I am exactly at that moment – playing things safe. Again, thank you for the encouragement. Looking forward to your next posts πŸ™‚ Cheers!

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