someone else; different versions of me

Yesterday, I went to a new friend’s condominium and we went to the 45th floor and she took pictures of me. She had asked me, when we were first getting to know each other as recent as last March that she wanted to take my photos and I’ve seen her work when she had photographed some friends of mine and when I added her on Facebook and I thought it would be my honour. I think she’s amazing.

So we met up yesterday and I brought a lot of my favourite clothes, so we had options, and we went upstairs to her rooftop which was sort of industrial-like and it had the feel of a warehouse. The rooftop had all these piping and machines that managed exhaust and it was dusty and very concrete. It also had a 360 degree view of the city and a great view of the sunset in Manila Bay.

We did so many things and I tried on different shirts and I felt safe with her even though we really had just met and this feeling of security allowed me to be someone else and it was a marvellous thing.

I don’t remember ever feeling so confident or playful in a photo shoot before. I was a wall, at some point. I was confident.  I was cocky. I was sinister. I was guilty. I was fragile. I was scared. I was apathetic. I was a blank slate. I was all these things that I have trouble being in front of the camera. She told me what she wanted and I gave her different options and different postures and physical attitude. I played with my body’s sense of tension and relaxation. I played with my breathing.

I played and I’ve never played like this before.

And I saw some of the photos and they looked marvellous already. But she will do some editing on it, a few enhancements, because she really wanted to work on the interplay of my emotions and projection and the textures of the walls and the rest of the surroundings.

I can’t wait to see them. I can’t wait to see them when they are done.

I’ve never felt like that before. It felt nice.

Yesterday, I was someone else. Eight different versions of me. They were all me but they also weren’t me. I was someone else but still me. And it felt nice.

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