I had everything prepared. My friends and I were going to hang out at our friend Ann’s house even before I found out that the Total Lunar Eclipse — the Blood Moon — was going to happen on April 4, Black Saturday. When I found out it was going to be the Blood Moon, I even tried to see if I could find another gathering, something like a garden or a roof deck, to be able to see it and then follow right after. When none appeared and my friends who know me told me that Ann’s house is a three-storey house with a balcony, they were able to convince me to just continue with the plans.
I know, I’m a shit, but this Blood Moon is very significant for me.
Why? Check this link: Libra Lunar Eclipse: Finding a Compromise to Let Go (Elephant Journal).
So off I went to Ann’s house and I came much earlier than what we had discussed. We were all supposed to convene by 8pm but I told them the eclipse was supposed to begin at 5pm with 8pm being the full, total lunar eclipse. I wanted to catch it as it began. Ann said to come early, if we wanted, and I was there by 5:30 as I bought chips and cheese and some deli meat.
There I was, at Ann’s balcony, just looking out at the sky and freaking out because the super typhoon is passing by the northern part of the country and we were at the far edges of the storm and it made the whole sky just filled with clouds.
The humidity was enervating and depleted our energy quickly as the air was just heavy with the heat. Everyone was mentioning it every now and then (except for me, I’ve never did mind the tropical humidity and heat) and I was turning irritable.
When we would check our phones, I could see all the beautiful shots of the total lunar eclipse from Instagram and Facebook photos of my friends in the south — primarily Iloilo, Bacolod, and Dumaguete. They had clear skies. And their pictures were beautiful. Some of them set up a picnic ground in the fields and took beautiful pictures and posted them on social media and I was so jealous. In Manila, the Blood Mood, was barely visible, only showing bits and pieces of himself through the clouds intermittently. I saw slivers. I got a glimpse — but never the full effect.
I felt frustrated. I felt betrayed, if you can imagine.
According to the article I posted above from The Elephant Journal, the Blood Moon was supposed to be about closure and letting go. It was about reaching a compromise in order to move on and to release that which binds you. I was holding on to that. I wanted it. I needed it. There were things I wanted to let go of and I had a lot riding on this. I wanted to be showered with the energy of the Blood Moon and I know it makes no difference if you see it or not, because the energy released would still happen whether we saw it or didn’t; but I wanted to see it, so I knew exactly when it happened. That moment of letting go. I had something to thank. I could tell myself, in some romantic way, that I accepted the need to let go and I did it with the support and encouragement from the universe.
It’s stupid and silly. I know. But if you want something so bad you go for it. You go through immeasurable lengths to make it happen.
No, again, this is something I have to do on my own. This has to be an act of will and not some push from the metaphysical world. This is the exact nature of what my year is meant to be. To see all the signs the universe is sending me and to finally act on my own accord and not be pushed.
I can do it on my own. I have the strength within me and I don’t need some external force or some internal belief to carry me forward. I have to carry myself. This is it. It’s time to move because I chose to move.
I missed out on the Blood Moon but it happened. It’s time.