sacrifice

I just saw two more plays this weekend and I missed one yesterday so I caught a movie instead so I could write a review of it.

I’m on full beast mode, working and working. I don’t participate as often as I used to in my Viber groups and WhatsApp groups on my mobile. I’m planning my weeks far ahead and just adding more and more work-related things in it because I’m feeling this surge of energy right now.

behind the scenes but still hard at work -- it is time for me to push beyond the shadows and into the light (an unintentional photo taken of me during the interview process of "Letters to the Future")

behind the scenes but still hard at work — it is time for me to push beyond the shadows and into the light (an unintentional photo taken of me during the interview process of “Letters to the Future”)

There is work to be done and every show I watch, every movie I review, every work-related activity I engage myself in all of a sudden reaps almost instantaneous rewards. Each show reveals to me more and more the technical aspects of the theater, which has become a real career opportunity for me and is something I am really passionate about (as I am starting to realise). I still love the medium of cinema but the industry is not conducive for the kind of work that I want to do and I can see how I can tell the same stories in the theater — plunge into complex themes in a narrative structure — and there are more avenues for me to get my work done.

I have always been proud of the fact that I consider myself an all-around writer. I can easily learn new forms and adapt and I’ve written for various styles and outlets and media and the way a story unfolds in theater is not unlike film. I have so much to learn. So much. The approach to writing a theatrical piece is very different from film but I’m willing to learn. The theater scene is growing and the audience is growing while the film industry is currently in flux.

I’ve had way too much fun and it is now time for me to harness my energies and focus it on the things I want to do for myself now. Less time for fun and games and more time focused on getting work out there and learning this new world.

There are sacrifices that need to be made but I haven’t had this surge of need to do something for me and all the ducks are lining themselves up in a row just for me to knock them down again. It’s a strange idiom, I will admit, but it’s so true and real for me right now. It’s happening. I can see it. Things are happening and every little bit that I do for work comes back to me almost immediately. It’s frightening but not as frightening as cowering away in fear and not doing anything about it.

It’s happening and I won’t be afraid of my own light shining brightly. And I won’t be afraid to fail because that would mean that the next attempt will be better because I’m not afraid to learn. And I won’t give up. I don’t have it in me to give up again.

It’s time. It’s time to make sacrifices.

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