What is joy?

I have always liked to think that I was pretty self-aware. I seemed to have an awareness of the things that was going on inside me and if something came up that was beyond my perception of myself, like someone told me something that I did that I wasn’t conscious of, I apologised for it immediately and tried to correct it.

I’ve noticed how unhappy I sound on my blog, as of late, and for a while, I thought to myself that I could weather it out, ride it out, or get through it on my own. Then, I made a decision to do something more about it.

So I went to The Healing House, where my friend Kate goes for healing. They do alternative healing modalities like Millennium Cards and Reiki and Theta and other things and I went for a session.

taken sometime in 2005 and the sheer joy of laughter in this photo is how I'm feeling right now

taken sometime in 2005 and the sheer joy of laughter in this photo is how I’m feeling right now

I got what I needed. I got the clarity and the direction I needed to repair a long-time difficulty I’ve been having that has been preventing me from getting what I need.

I’m very open to the idea that the world is filled with cosmic forces and energy and that, as human beings, we can attune ourselves to these things. I don’t talk about it often. I think our spirituality is a personal thing and something that you don’t impose on others. I use this philosophy in my day-to-day life and how I deal with others, but I don’t talk about it often. I believe in the alternative healing modalities and shamanism and other worlds and multi-layers of consciousness.

It’s very woo-woo but I believe it and it works. It has kept me sane and has helped me find balance and stability.

And after yesterday’s healing session, I feel very positive and refreshed. I feel like a great weight has been lifted and I see the kind of work I have to do to my self to get me to where I want to be. I feel connected to things. I feel released.

I know these things are not a one-stop shop and that I’m forever cured. No. I understand that this was an important breakthrough and a stepping stone. There’s still a lot of work to do and this has to be maintained and applied or else I’ll just slip back to what is comfortable.

But I don’t feel so confined and I feel like I can do it and push through. I’ve settled some issues and I’ve let go of some demons. I’m traveling light again and it feels great.

I’m smiling again and it goes far beyond the frame of my face. It is reaching out into the horizon and I hope that it makes everyone around me feel as good as I do. Because that would just be wonderful, to be able to share this feeling.

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