So, I sort of got my big slap on the cheek. I woke up. My reality check has come in and it’s getting cashed and I have no money in the bank.
I even wrote about it in a micro-poem the other day.
you can’t hide
in dreams any more:
dancing with fairies
and future lovers.
The world calls,
I could probably make that longer; build on the images more and really cull the metaphor for a stronger piece but, right now, I have to start putting my life back together.
So, in order to do that, I have begun to trim down the excesses. I haven’t been working as hard as I usually work but I’ve been living pretty much with the same lifestyle and so my capital did not equal or was it greater than my expenditures and I’ve been touching money I shouldn’t have touched.
That changes. Starting today.
But first things first, I got a haircut. It was gonna happen anyway but I decided to do it now because I knew that something had to give. The wildness and the length of the hair sort of became some excuse to be wild and excessive in my life. So cutting it down, trimming it, and making it clean and neat would help me adjust my way of thinking so that I become more focused. It’s an outward going inward thing. By changing what is there outside — how I appear, how I look — I hope that it would influence the way I am inside.
Yeah, I have to play tricks on myself because I know what I am like and once inertia has set in, it’s hard to get out of it.
And hey! I change my look twice or thrice a year, anyway. It was time for a new look. And I think it looks good on me.