I remember a song by Sheryl Crow from her first album, Tuesday Night Music Club, where she sings in the chorus:
No one said it would be easy
But no one said it would be this hard
I can see things coming together, though, but it is an uphill climb, really. It’s a struggle just to make things come through to a point where you can be happy with the result, or at the very least, something I can be content with. It’s tough, really. So many things to consider, so many things are coming from so many sides, that it’s a lot to handle on my plate.
But like I said, things are coming together. I can see it, finally. I just have to survive until that point.
Again, I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining. It’s just that things have been strangely difficult and challenging lately. Life has always been difficult and challenging; but the past three years have been sort of easy — like everything I’ve been through has finally given me the tools that is necessary to make things work out. And then, suddenly, I find myself ill-equiped to handle things again.
No, that’s not right either. I’m very equipped. I’m just finding myself in totally new territory again. New kinds of problems and challenges. And that’s actually a good thing, really. It means that I’ve been able to get rid of all the old problems. It is a sign that I’ve learned. It is a sign that I’m growing. New challenges means I have dealt with all the old ones and they aren’t challenges to me anymore.
So, deep down inside, I guess I got the answer to the question, “Have I grown since then?” I have. I’m dealing with new things. I’m dealing with new experiences. That’s a good thing. That’s a good sign.
And the fact that life is still challenging and difficult shows that I am still growing and I have not stayed complacent. I’m putting myself out there. I’m experiencing new things. I’m growing. This is a good thing.
No one said it would be easy. And no one said how hard it was going to be. But I’d rather have that, really.
So this is not a complaint. I’m not whining. I’m just stating a fact. I’m steeling myself for the long road ahead. At least, though, this time, I can actually see the destination. I can’t wait to get there. Rest a bit. And then go on another journey. Another uphill climb. See another piece of the world.
That’s all there is, really. Just one journey after another. You never really ever get to where you are going in this life. Because the moment you arrive, you would want to leave again. Not because you aren’t happy with where you get to, but because you miss being on the journey.