they call it the ghost month

In the Philippines, many businesses and industries follow a Chinese superstition regarding starting projects on August, which they call the “ghost month.” I’m too lazy and filled with so much deep and personal writing from last night to actually try and discover the exact origin of the “ghost month.” All I can remember is that the Chinese don’t believe in starting projects or new enterprises during this period and try to curb spending and actual releasing of money because of the nature and atmosphere of the “ghost month.”

I’ll call it the ghost month for other reasons, as of the moment, because it has been a wild, emotional ride, as of late.

I’m being pulled and tugged in all sides and while my passion for writing has been renewed and I am energised and so ready to work on new projects — many new projects have come to me that I’m excited and raring to begin working on — I have two projects that are hanging around my room, like literal ghosts, waiting for me to finish them. They are pulling me down, mostly, because I’ve been working on them for so long, and I am being a brat about not working on them because of all the fiery hoops I was made to do for the past year on one project, and the artistic conflict I’m having with the other. Both projects were shining so brightly when I first began on them and time has made it so that they barely flicker. I’ve moved on, the world has moved on, and I’m a different person now than I was when I started these things.

Finishing those two projects would be like bringing back the dead. I’d have to perform a seance and a resurrection over the course of the next few days so that I can finally finish it, and lay it to rest in the proper rest, once and for all.

I cannot begin my new journey and explore these new worlds until these stories are finally put to rest.

And this PDAF scam brouhaha has just taken a turn for the worst. She surrendered and now she is being treated like a queen as she has turned into a state witness. Lest we forget she is a suspected mastermind of a scam that involves ten billion pesos of tax payer’s money. This whole circus has begun and it has been days since her surrender and no one is under the trial yet; it is still being investigated and they are taking their bloody time and all the guilty parties are taking this opportunity to clean up their books, fix their records, and manufacture their alibis.

The money is still lost and unaccounted for, and only God knows what’s happening to the money that is appropriated for this year and the next! And the worst part, people have stopped clamouring. Some still do, some are trying to stay vigilant, but the tens of thousands of people who were there at Luneta last August 26, most of them have gone back to their day-to-day lives, back to the grind. Back to survival mode, it seems. How sad that we cannot sustain our collective anger enough to enforce justice, to demand change, and to instil a sense of what is right in our society.

How disappointing.

And then, Sonata is coming out in ten days. My movie. It’s coming out very soon. And while I want to spend the rest of the days working on getting the word out, it feels a little wrong to talk about Sonata when all of this has happened — and then there’s Syria and Russia — and is happening, and it is pulling me in all directions.

The ghost month. I don’t know what it means. One of these days I will check and find out what it really entails. But until then, this month, I feel like I died on an emotional level, and then resuscitated by an ideal, by art.

The ghost month. Boo!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s