While my resolve has gotten stronger and my path has become clear, I find that my material world has gotten quite bleak and desolate. I’m running out of funds and I am not managing my finances as well as I ought to.
Like a duck, I’m above water but you cannot see how quickly my legs are paddling to stay afloat and moving. I finally found the strength inside of me to push forward and stay true to my convictions, but the requirements of the everyday are taking its toll. The problem of a freelancer: the lean season between projects. I know I have a lot of collectibles coming up, I just have to be more patient and they’ll come and I can collect and I’ll be okay.
I just have to make it through the next few days and when the money comes, I’ll be able to normalise and get steady. Stability has never been my expertise but I have always managed, somehow. I am lucky that I am one of those people who gets things when he absolutely needs it. It isn’t for lack of hard work. I think I work hard. It’s just the nature of the job. I could always get a steady job with a steady income; but that’s just going to kill my spirit. No, this is the path I have chosen for myself. Stay true to this path, I’ll find my way out.
If anything, I’m a swimmer. I may not be able to hold my breath very long, underneath the depths, but I always have the strength to rise to the surface again to get enough gasps of air before I plummet down beneath the surface of the waves. But I’m going forward.
I can do this. Just a few more days. And then it will be all okay again.