I was haunted by a project that I just couldn’t get back to and finish. I have two projects floating in the air and they have been a thorn on my side for a long while now. I started each of them with so much gusto and passion; and as time progressed, that passion dwindled. I’m a short distance runner — working incredibly fast in short amounts of time, making the best use of my creative energy while my focus is strong. The moment my attention and focus starts to drift away and I’m not yet done with the work, it gets scary because it is hard for me to get back in the same sort of writing that came when I first started.
I’m not a long-distance runner when it comes to my writing; which is why the novel form is very difficult for me to write. That takes time and I don’t have the benefit of being focused for a very long time in a given subject. My thoughts tend to stray. That’s why I am quite prolific, in my opinion, when it comes to poetry. It’s done in a flash and I can work on it and work on it no matter how long it has been because it’s all there.
But these scripts — the producers or the people in charge take so long with reading it and giving their comments that so much time has passed and I have no idea what’s going on with them. I have worked on other projects and getting other things done and from out of the blue… BLAM! They come with revisions and edits and a new deadline and I have to get things done on time because we can’t start without you; but they sure can take their bloody time with their comments.
One project began in June, the other began in November and there’s so much work that has to be done and I just don’t know.
But yesterday, I was able to chop off one head. One project revised and sent and the meeting is pretty near so I can hopefully get that out of the way.
Nowadays, it’s all Skittles, and movies, television shows, chatting with people on Grindr, going to Enchanted Kingdom with my brother, writing poetry, writing e-mails, and anything to get my mind off the stress and back to a neutral state where it will be easier for me to write.
It’s so annoying: this expectation to write on demand; which is fair, but I wish their demands were more fair to me too.
One head of the Hydra cut, several more to go. This unending battle. It continues.