I had the weirdest dream last night.
I was in a stage and I was in the audience section with all these other people and we were all there to audition for So You Think You Can Dance. I was so nervous. My friend, Jo, was there and it was her idea that we should try something. In my dream, I had as much dance ability and knowledge as I do in real life — which is none. So, I was quite excited to be dancing in front of the judges but I was also so embarrassed with the idea that I was going to be dancing in front of the judges with my limited dance knowledge. I was freaking out. Jo doesn’t have dance training either but she didn’t care. She was just tripping. I was a nervous wreck.
The judges were four hours late and the auditorium/theater was already almost empty. But people stayed and they didn’t want to leave. They wanted their shot. And Jo, I feel, stayed far away from me, talking to the other dancers, because she knew if she were any where near me, I’d ask her to just go.
So I was in my seat, looking for songs in my iPod and thinking of what to do for my audition.
Cat Deeley was outside shooting her spiels so she wasn’t inside to talk to us. My nerves were starting to get to me.
And then Nigel Lythgoe arrives and he was the only judge who was there. He was being wheeled in in a wheel-chair. Someone walked around and grabbed all the application forms from our hands and mine was just snatched out of my hands before I could say anything. I was too in awe of seeing Nigel in the flesh to have noticed.
And then they started calling people up on stage. Dancer after dancer, people came up to do the WEIRDEST shit ever. You can’t believe the weird things I dreamt up of in that dream. They were more like theater of the absurd than it was modern dance. I was sort of calming down because, at least, I knew I was going to try to dance. These people are just freaks, you know? Doing the weirdest shit ever. Nigel wasn’t impressed but he wasn’t being brutal either, so I was starting to feel a little more relaxed.
Jo looked at me from near the stage where she was sitting and smiled. She gave me that look, like, “You got this.”
And then, I realised, I am 34. I’m way above the age limit. So You Think You Can Dance is only for people below 30 years of age. I had to prepare my spiel about how I knew I couldn’t make it but I just wanted to be able to dance in front of the judges. I was practicing in my head, saying, “I just really love to dance.”
And then I woke up. I never got to dance. I never got to audition. Not even in my dreams.
I was both relieved and disappointed.