I can’t wait for you to see this film

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Sta. Rosalia, the beautiful, old house of the Gaston family, in Manapla

There is a house in Manapla, here in Negros Occidental. It is a beautiful house, an old house, and it is where we are filming Sonata. It is a beautiful, old house in the style of the Spanish colonial times. It is surrounded by a lush, verdant green. There are trees and flowers and grass and you could see the mountains in the distance. It is hot in summer but there is a cool breeze that is blowing every once in a while.

And it is here that they are shooting a movie I wrote. It is here they are shooting Sonata. We were there everyday since April 1 and we’ve been going to a farm house in Cadiz, just a little less than an hour’s drive away. There was very weak signal in both locations so I had very, very little access to the Internet. It might have been a good thing too because I didn’t want to be distracted.

They were shooting the film and it is more amazing than how I envisioned it in my head. It is coming to life. It is become reality and I’m changing, every inch and fiber in my body is electrically charged.

I don’t know if you will ever understand, until you feel it yourself, to see your work come to life through the abled artistry of the director and the actors and the art department. I don’t know if you will ever understand, until you experience it yourself, what it feels like when you see a costume, worn by an actor, that exactly encapsulates a character you’ve formed from the ether and put on a page; and to see a house transform before your eyes to become the house that you wrote about; and how an actor says lines that you have written and their faces twist and contort and explode with emotions that you put in there.

There is really no feeling like it. All of a sudden, I feel small. I feel so tiny. I thought I would feel big but instead I feel minuscule, because, I realised that I am but a tiny part of this humongous process; and maybe it is an integral part of the process, but I’m just part of the process, nonetheless. And I did my best, and I poured my heart out onto that page and they picked it up, and with the guidance of the director, used everything that is within them to make it come to life.

Sonata is no longer a figment of my imagination. It isn’t some file in my computer or some words on a page. I saw it. I saw it there. It was in front of me and I thought to myself, “Wow, I did that. I wrote that.”

Where did it come from? And can I do it again? I don’t know but I want to. This is what I’ve been waiting for, my whole life, even if I never knew it or realised it; this is what it was all for. I feel fulfilled.

This movie is going to be so beautiful. We are five days in and we have three days left to go for principal photography. You cannot imagine how badly I want you all to see it.

I wish I could go to sleep and wake up and the film is done. I want people to see it. So many wonderful. talented people put their hearts out there, everyday, working their asses off to make such a wonderful film. I hope I did my part. I hope you get to see it and I hope all of that comes through.

And I hope, at some point in your life, you end up feeling the way I did, or some approximation of it that corresponds to your life. Whatever it is. I hope you get it. I wish that for everyone in the world.

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