Today, I found it. A lot of things that I’ve been looking for, I managed to find. I found the right WordPress theme that fits my idea for the site. It’s not exactly what I was going for, but it works for me. With my limited knowledge of the techie world, this is the best I can do with what I can find and tinker with and I’m happy with it. I think this will work out for me.
And then second, I woke up today and I feel great. I’ve been depressed. Trouble with work, trouble on the personal front, and I haven’t been dealing with it well. I guess you could tell with the infrequency of posts. I’ve been sulking. I’ve been acting like a spoiled brat and while a lot of my friends have told me that I had reason to feel bad, that doesn’t give me the right to act like a brat. I’m all grown up now and I shouldn’t result in pulling tantrums and sulking.
I’ve been going out a lot and taking my sweet time with my work projects. I’ve been hiding from friends and flaking on dinners and meet ups. I’ve been running back to games I used to play in my mid-twenties and, in a way, I regressed.
I was unhappy and I decided to play games, throw tantrums, and act like a 90s teen-ager. I don’t want to be that way. I don’t want to be that way.
Then I go to the URBN grand launch at the invite of my super good friend Cez, and two days before that I saw my good friend Bia, and then last night I was with my good friend Eunice, and then tonight, I’ll be with my super good friend Cat for her birthday and I am hitting myself in the head for having forgotten that these people are the reason why I am so happy the past few years. Why did I hide from them? Because I didn’t want them to see me depressed? Because I didn’t want to subject them to my negativity? What a dumb move?
That’s how bad it got.
But being around them and taking in all their good energy, I woke up today and things just went back into sync. I’m back. I feel ready. I feel ready to write again and I’m ready to take the bull by the fucking horns and wrestling the motherfucker down to the ground.
I’ve reintegrated. I got my shit together. Let’s do this.
Fuck the empire! Wanggo strikes back.