A Fistful of Love

I don’t know why this song just grabbed at me again today. I’ve been super busy running around the past few days and juggling several writing projects at the same time; each one demanding so much of my time and concentration that I feel like I’m drowning. But I trod on; I soldier on because that’s what you do.

And then today, my iPod on shuffle,¬†Fistful of Love by Antony and the Johnsons came on and I had a quiver in my heart. I don’t know why but it struck a chord in me and I ended up playing it over and over again until I made it to my first meeting at a very early hour of eight in the morning. So I tweeted:

Current eargasm: “Fistful of Love” by Antony & the Johnsons. Because love is painful. Gorgeous brass section. #emotuesdays #theblues

Of course, the original has a superb brass section and the video below is a live performance and instead of horns, it’s a string section. It’s amazing too, but I like the violence of the brass; the harshness. It works so well with the song, in my opinion. Nevertheless, it’s gorgeous. I put the live version instead because there’s no official video for the song.

I don’t know why I felt so strongly to it; or maybe I do and I just don’t want to admit it. All this work and the frustrations and the challenges and the disappointments that come with trying to get a film script I have written produced — it’s abusive and painful and it’s like taking a fist in the face from someone you love. This industry is not for the soft of heart and for those who will cave easily. This is a love affair of a different kind. It beats down on you and bruises you so hard but you take it and you take it because you want it so badly.

You sincerely cannot live without it. And so you keep going. This is love and it is painful.

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