I was totally unproductive over my Bacolod vacation. I came for my cousin’s wedding and decided to stay a few extra days longer to get some rest. I had some work to do but found myself procrastinating to the high heavens before I started getting them done. I was eaten up by my bed and couldn’t get out. The experience was wonderful and I think I got a lot of rest in which is good for my health, but I almost missed a couple of deadlines. Bad. Bad, bad, bad. I do not often miss my deadlines but I really couldn’t focus. I had my big bed again, my lovely little green room, all that sunlight, and my own bathroom. My mind shut down for work thoughts and I could just rest.
I thought about other things, though, a lot of other things. I sorta got stuck in some fantasy world in my head that kind of got me in this cycle that was hard to get out of. It was a dangerous place to be in but since I had the time and there was no rush of anything else, no pressure to produce, I had the time to indulge in it.
Getting a lot of sleep, getting a lot of quality “me-time” in meant a renewed passion to grab the bull by the horns and to start getting my act together. Ready for round two. I wanted to start working. Hell, even my first few poems while I was there wasn’t up to scratch. I think you can see that. I kinda like Shape, though. That kind of turned out well, but the other poems, not so much. Very raw. Very prosaic. Will work on those two because I think there’s something there I can work on.
So I knew that I had to get back to Manila. My mind works on overdrive here and I can make good use of this renewed energy. I bade my mother goodbye and we gave each other a long, hard embrace. I am going to miss her so. I was itching to get back to work.
On the evening I had to go, I didn’t want to go. I had to force myself to pack my bags. But I did it and I psyched myself up to get back to work mode.
The very moment I arrived in Manila, I practically hit the ground running. There was just so much to do already and I had just landed. But the battle reflexes are up and the mind is sharp. It had rest. It had a chance to indulge in the thoughts and fantasies in my head. I could shove them aside to get the job done.
I really needed that break. I think I’m going to be doing that more often now. Maybe go back to Bacolod every six weeks, if the work schedule allows for it.
But right now, I’m here. Time to get stuff done.