frailty

this endless process of shattering

and picking up the pieces

and piecing myself back together

 

who hasn’t decided, in these moments

of rebuilding one’s self,

to put the head where the heart should be

and the heart somewhere safe instead?

 

I considered the spot behind

the shoulder blade, but it would be

too close to my head

 

to put it in my foot would mean

I’d be stepping on it everyday,

and that happens already everyday

by other people’s feet

 

Not in my arms or my hands

because I’m awkward and I crash them

into things all the time

and there’s no way I’d let my heart

be anywhere near my hands

 

I’d put it in my skull but I don’t want

my heart to see through my eyes

I’d never be rid of the illusions

 

maybe the next time I break

I’ll put myself back together

and forget that frustrating,

albeit essential, organ

 

I’d leave it on the floor and just walk away

and never break again

 

the cause of my constant frailty

is the very thing that keeps me alive

 

I will not regret its loss

if I am incapable of feeling

anything

 

 

 

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